Yall So Nosey - Part 1

Well babies these sho was some good questions and Lawd knows me and Mabel gone try to answer them best we can. We sho wasn’t expecting so manys nosey peoples to be all up in our business. So we den decided to take a few questions at a time and pretends like we some rich and famous peoples getting interviewed. Yall take care now.

Dreamcop08 Questions:
OKAY I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YALL ZODIAC SIGNS ARE?
Ruthie Ann: Baby I’m representing for the Leos. And you bets believe I’m a lioness when it comes to my childrens and in the bedroom. If you knows what I mean.

Ms Mabel: A lioness, Ruthie Ann please. Chile, more like a monkey with her goofy looking self. Child look just like a monkey and almost got picked up by the animal patrol. If I weren’t for me, she’d be somewhere being fed carrots and bananas. See, I’m a Capricorn all day long. A Christian Capricorn at that – CC is what I calls myself. Don’t get me started cause they used to call me a triple threat – a CCC. That’s a Cute Christian Capricorn. Halleluyer.

HOW WAS IT GROWING UP IN YOUR TIME?
Ruthie Ann: Believe it or not we was still picking cotton when me and Mabel was childrens. Course they gave us a penny for the labor. It was tuff but what don’t kill ya will only make ya strong. Imma let Mabel talk more bout this cause I tends to get emotional when I thanks back that far. It hurts to know that my breastes just ain’t as perky as they used to be when I growing up.

Ms. Mabel: I know I don’t look a day over 79, but it was rough child. We grew up in the south so we had heat like the inside of the devil’s ass. We picked cotton, we picked beans, we picked squash, hell, we picked everything we could. Ruthie Ann chose to pick men, I guess. Times is so much better now. Me and LB is in the prime of our lives and we can sit back and enjoy our lives and look at how far we’s came. You see, it’s important to take a little time and remember where you came from.

WHAT DO YALL LIKE TO DO OUTSIDE OF CHURCH TO HAVE FUN BESIDES SMOKING THAT GLAUCOMA MEDICINE?
Ruthie Ann: Well personally speaking I’m a widow 7 times as a matter fact so I’m free to come and go as I choose. Sometimes I tends to go the club and have a few dranks and course do the Electric Slide. When me and Mabel gets together we likes to make our famous hog head cheese and talk about peoples. And spend some one on one time on top of Tyron of course.

Ms. Mabel: Child, I loves me a good piece of hog head cheese on a bagel. The ladies at the church call me uppity, but who cares. I loves to sun bathe. Course, I gotta do it privately because my body is the temple of the Lawd and nobody sees Ms. Mabel’s gems but my husband. Besides sun bathing, I loves to rub my feet in that good green alcohol from Walgreen’s, I likes to make my good turnips and corn bread dish, and I loves to play a spell of bid whist. I’m the reigning champion down at the church. Them heffa’s don’t know what the deal is. I sets it off everytime.


WHERE IS MS MABEL AT I HEAR A LOT FROM MS RUTHIE ANN?
Ruthie Ann: Chile her fat tail be around she can’t respond as much with her hands full with sandwiches and all. If you ever wanna know greedy than look at Mabel wide tail and introduce ya self.

Ms. Mabel: You know, that Ruthie Ann got so much time on her hands. Hell, all she do is go from man to man. I’m much more conservative and classy and I have a life and an agenda. Just cause I’m in retirement don’t mean I just lays around and do absolutely nothing like Ruthie does. I be’s here, but working this computer ain’t the easiest thang in the world to learn how to do. Yall just bear with me and I’ll be making my rounds.


WHAT MADE YALL DECIDE TO START BLOGGING?
Ruthie Ann: Well truth be told one day I was smoking some of my glaucoma medicine and I decided to sat down and use my grandson computer. You know we been taking them computer classes down at the church for the past year so I knew how to get on the line. Mabel slow and she just ain't caught on as quick as yours truly. Anyways, I musta been tweeking as yall youngsters put it cause I went to put in http://www.baldspot.com/ and ended up here.

Ms. Mabel: Ruthie Ann typed in http://www.baldspot.com/, and I was looking for some medicine for LB’s bladder problem and I typed in http://www.bladderspot.com/. Because me and Ruthie talks about everything we told each other. Child, we said let's get us a blogspot. We figured it was a sign from God so we signed up and took us a cute ol’ picture together with our Sunday’s best on, and the next thang you know we’s writing stuff for the whole world to see.



Nicole, Inc Questions:

HAVE YOU ALL BEEN MARRIED AND IF SO WAS IT JUST ONCE OR MULTIPLE TIMES?
Ruthie Ann: Baby my marriages been like my orgasms when I’m with my sugason (opposite of sugar daddy) Tyron. That would be MULTIPLE. 7 times to be exact and they all have gone on to glory. Bless they hearts and praise God for the insurance monies.

Ms. Mabel: I’ve been married to the same man for 54 years. Yes, me and LB is still in the same love we been in when we met in high school. Of course that triflin’ ass Ruthie Ann almost stole my husband before he was my husband. I had to get that heffa straight back in the day. I had on my cute cheerleading uniform (with my coffee knee-highs of course) and one day I told her about herself. She let go and it’s been me and LB since – in all of our marital bliss. I loves him. Maybe one day I’ll post our wedding picture together. Course, back then the cameras wasn’t as good as they were now, so we got us a sketch instead.

WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK ABOUT WOMEN WEARING PANTS TO CHURCH?
Ruthie Ann: Baby it don’t bother me none. The good Lawd says come as you are. Now Mother Edna stank breath self has a fit when she sees the womens in pants. Only reason I hate them wearing pants is cause she gon talk bout it for days. Hell I’ll pay the womens to wear dresses to keep her stank mouth closed.

Ms. Mabel: A real woman always wears her a good floral pattern dress or skirt with the good pleats in them. A woman’s accessory should always be either nude or coffee stockings or knee-highs, you know, the kind that roll up right around the knee area. That’s what real womens wear. The womens in the bible wore them and child, we oughta follow their example. I see some of these young thangs walking around the church today, look like they on their way to a beach somewhere having them sarongs on. You can’t wear a sarong when your body is all so wrong. They need to join me in my jazzercise class. I will show them how to do it!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR SINGLE WOMEN IN THE CHURCH?
Ruthie Ann: Just wait for the Lawd to send you a man. I kept looking and I still never found Mr Right after 7 tries. Being with all them wrong ones was only worth it when they died. Them insurance checks sho come in handy course you know I had to tithe.

Ms. Mabel: If you get a man, don’t leave the poor child around Ruthie Ann for too long. I loves her, she’s like my sister. But her ass is as trifling as a man wearing a dirty shirt with the ring around the collar. I’m telling you what God loves…the truth.

Queen of my Castle Questions:

DO YALL GO TO OR TEACH SUNDAY SCHOOL?
Ruthie Ann: Baby what type of question is that? Course good saints like us tend Sunday school. Unlessing I had a long night with Tyron then I might miss Sunday School but chile’ that’s only bout 3 Sundays out the month.

Ms. Mabel: I used to teach Sunday School. They don’t hardly let me teach no more. They say reason being is because I cuss too much. All I be trying to do is get my point across. They told me using the word hoe and Christian in the same sentence aint Christ-like. So now I don’t hardly go these days. Screw them. I almost set it off in the church one time. I had to remember where I was at.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN WOMEN PREACHERS?
Ruthie Ann: I thanks the Lawd can use anybody including womens and young childrens. One thang bout me I ain’t stuck in my ways. Now every now and then I might get stuck in a position and my sugar son Tyron has to help me up but that’s about it. My body jus ain’t flexible like it used to be. I reckon that comes with ole’ age.

Ms. Mabel: I believes in women preachers only if she’s wearing a floral print dress or skirt with nude of coffee knee-highs rolled up round about the knee. Then I knows she’s a woman of God.

WHERE DOES ALL THE BUILDING FUND MONEY GO?
Ruthie Ann: Chile you ain’t gon get me to lying. Hell I wonders that ma self sometimes. I ain’t gossiping but we been collecting for the building fund for five years and all I knows is the Deacons all got new tupays and matching ties. Now you tell me what’s really goin on.

Ms. Mabel: Chile, ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Ain’t no telling where the money goes. I heard that Pastor was on a trip to Ochos Rios recently. Came back and there was a dip in the resources. That’s why I don’t tithe or give to the church no more. Hell, I got better thangs to do with my money. Besides, if I give all of my fixed income to the church then how am I gonna ever get rich playing bingo and hitting the penny slots down at the local casino?