Baby the Thrill is Gone

Hey babies. Yall migtha been wondering where I beens. Well praise God old Ruthie Ann is still alive and kicking. Only thang is I been going through “the change”. Naw I ain’t talking bout menopause I did that years ago. Anyhow, over the past few weeks I realized a few thangs and I thought it be best that I share them with yall. But first let me thanks Mabel for being by my side and baking 9 pound cakes to makes me feel better. I sho appreciate her I just wish she woulda saved me at least one piece of cake. That women den gained 15 pounds over the last two weeks being a good friend to me. I loves her dearly with her fat greedy rolly polly tail. Anyway this is what I wanted to share with yall.

Few weeks ago Pastor preached on fornication and chile I got so convicted that I rushed home and told my sugar son Tyron he needed to marry me if he wanted to continue bumping and grinding. That boy toy had the nerves to tell me I was too old for him. Needless to say it’s ova betweens him and me and I’ve decided that I ain’t messing with younger mens no more. For now on I’m only gettin with good Godly mens like deacons, preachers, and the ones that faithfully clean up the church house Sunday after Sunday.

One of my 13 childrens is a nurse and she had her job come to the church house to give the mother’s board free exams. Well they took our urine and for some reason mine dropped dirty. And according to my daughter it was durty durty! My daughter was so embarrassed that she ain’t talked to her dear old sweet mama in two weeks. So I’ve decided that glaucoma medicine ain’t worth losing my childrens. I’d rather lose my eye sight then lose one of my babies. Plus my grandson got locked up the otha day and the supply won’t be plentiful like it was when he was living with me. Something about having to pay for the weed on a fixed income helps make me wanna quit. Course I’m really doing it to save me and my baby girls relationship.

I did care for Tyron for more than his body so course I went through a tad bit when we broke up. I found myself turning to Crown Royal instead of the good Lawd. I drank so much Crown Royal in one night that I was releasing waste from both ends at the same time (If you knows what I mean). Anyway, this went on for 3 whole days and it got so bad that Mabel had to buy me a pack of Depends cause I just couldn’t keep it in (if you knows what I mean). On the fourth day I got enough strength to soak in some Epsom Salt but as you probably know my tail was so raw from all that releasing (if you knows what I mean) that it burned like the devil had a torch to my ass (forgive me Lawd) in 150 degree heat while the stove is on. Anyway I’m proud to say I ain’t had a drank in 7 days and counting. Everytime I thanks about dranking I imagine me dranking myself to death and dying in a grown folk pamper with a diaper rash on my ass (forgive Lawd) and going straight to hell. Lawd knows I’ve had an affair with Crown Royal for more years than I can even recall but it just ain’t worth it. I’m a lady and I’m going out with dignity not in no damn diaper.

So babies, I need yall to pray for old Ruthie Ann cause I got a New Attitude like that Patty gurl say and the THRILL IS GONE! Take Care Now.