Hey Baby,
I ain't had much sleep in the last few days and I got bags under my eyes bout the size of Mabel's ass cheeks (forgive Lawd). Now you probably wondering how a fine lady like me let’s bags as big as Mabel ass form on my face. Well I got a simple answer for you. Beware of a sleep walking shank carrying Killa!
Chile’s let me tell you what I’m talking about. A few days ago I was fast asleep dreaming about me and my ex-sugar son Tyron having us a grand ole time in the swimming pool. I thanks they calls this a wet dream. Child I had on the most sexiest floral bikini you den ever seen. Anyways, I turns over on my bunk and I opens my eyes for a few seconds and that sweet wet dream turned into a damn nightmare. Baby that crazy nut case -Camel- chain smoking- cellmate of mine Killa K was pacing the floor dead asleep with a damn shank in her hand. Now I don’t know about you, but ain’t no way in hell Imma sleep with a woman named Killa in cracker jack box sized cell with a shank in her hands and her eyes close. My brain cells might be a bit fried from all that glaucoma medicine I den smoked over the years but I ain’t nobodys fool!
Now after reading this do you thank being shank free is worth bags as big as Mabel's Booty?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
A short Camel goes a long way!
Hey Babies,
Once again me and Mabel sends you all our love from inside the four walls of the county jail house. First off I wanna praise God because Mabel been losing weight since we been locked up. She claims it’s cause she ain’t been eating these nasty meals cause they ain’t got nothing on her cooking. But personally I thanks it got a lot to do with her constantly running away from these two white bully butches that wanna make Mabel they bitch (forgive me Lawd). Every time you turns around they talking bout how much they loves them some black womens with meat on they bones. And yall knows Mabel got plenty of meat on her bones so they both want her bad. Personally I thanks that if it wasn’t for them being white Mabel would get down with that one named Connie on the down low if you knows what I mean. I say that cause Connie kinda puts you in the mind of a white woman who looks like LB would look if he was a white woman. Anyways, all that running from them is helping Mabel fit her orange jumpsuit better. Praise the Lawd cause she was starting to look like NOT ONE but A BAG FULL of Sunkit oranges in that suit.
Now as for me I den came up with a serious hustle up in here. See the only cigarettes we got access to is them ones called Camel. Anyways, in here Camel is better than cash and if you got a half smoked one (they calls that a “short”) then that’s like having some coins. Anyways, I don’t smoke cigarettes cause ain’t nothing good about em and they sho ain’t good for your health. Now weed on the other hand is good for problems with your eyes and such. But anyways I tends to buy me a few packs of them Camel cigarettes and I uses them to get thangs done up in here. Baby I’m telling you “a short camel can get you a long way” when you locked up. Course I don’t recommend you find out for yourself. Just take my word for it. Jail ain’t for everybody. Hell if me and Mabel didn’t have the Lawd and my chain smoking cellmate Killa K on our side we’d be in a world of trouble up in here. Take care now.
Signed
Ruthie Ann
Once again me and Mabel sends you all our love from inside the four walls of the county jail house. First off I wanna praise God because Mabel been losing weight since we been locked up. She claims it’s cause she ain’t been eating these nasty meals cause they ain’t got nothing on her cooking. But personally I thanks it got a lot to do with her constantly running away from these two white bully butches that wanna make Mabel they bitch (forgive me Lawd). Every time you turns around they talking bout how much they loves them some black womens with meat on they bones. And yall knows Mabel got plenty of meat on her bones so they both want her bad. Personally I thanks that if it wasn’t for them being white Mabel would get down with that one named Connie on the down low if you knows what I mean. I say that cause Connie kinda puts you in the mind of a white woman who looks like LB would look if he was a white woman. Anyways, all that running from them is helping Mabel fit her orange jumpsuit better. Praise the Lawd cause she was starting to look like NOT ONE but A BAG FULL of Sunkit oranges in that suit.
Now as for me I den came up with a serious hustle up in here. See the only cigarettes we got access to is them ones called Camel. Anyways, in here Camel is better than cash and if you got a half smoked one (they calls that a “short”) then that’s like having some coins. Anyways, I don’t smoke cigarettes cause ain’t nothing good about em and they sho ain’t good for your health. Now weed on the other hand is good for problems with your eyes and such. But anyways I tends to buy me a few packs of them Camel cigarettes and I uses them to get thangs done up in here. Baby I’m telling you “a short camel can get you a long way” when you locked up. Course I don’t recommend you find out for yourself. Just take my word for it. Jail ain’t for everybody. Hell if me and Mabel didn’t have the Lawd and my chain smoking cellmate Killa K on our side we’d be in a world of trouble up in here. Take care now.
Signed
Ruthie Ann
Monday, October 13, 2008
Don't let the one with glaucoma be the look out guy!
Hey Babies,
I knows yall probably been wondering where me and Mabel been lately. Well it’s kinda a long story but imma try to make it simple. The bottom line to the story is DON’T LET THE PERSON WITH GLAUCOMA BE THE LOOK OUT GUY!
I ain’t sure if yall remembers but a while back me and Mabel was curious as 5 alley cats in heat about that blue juice the pastors be drinking. We had a notion that it was that drank they calls Hypnotic. Anyways we masterminded a plot to expose our pastor for being a down low alcoholic. See we figures that us black kettles get called out in church every Sunday for our sinful ways by the pastor, so if he is a BLACK POT on the down low, then he outta be called too.
Well about two months ago me and Mabel dressed up in all black (in our Sundays best of course with the sharpest church hats you den ever seen). Anyways, we left the kitchen door open in the basement of the church earlier that day so we could sneak back in and grab that blue juice to test the water for ourselves so to speak. We had the plan all set up. I was to be the look out guy and Mabel was to be the thief. I personally thought it should be the other way around but Mabel insisted that she grab the juice since she was the one with stinky fingers back in the day. Child that women used to be able to steal the panty drawz off you while you was wearing a girdle on top of em. Now that’s what you call a professional thief.
Anyways long story short the silent alarm went off and we got arrested for armed robbery. I didn’t see the po-po pulling up in time to tell Mabel so that we could get up out the church house. Hell they looked like trees to me. The judge accused us of using Mabel’s cain as a weapon. So me and Mabel is currently do a bit in the county jail. We ain’t been able to talk to yall too much cause we beat the hell out of two bully butches for trying to take our cakes (if you knows what I mean). That fight ended us both up in solitary confinement. We still at the county but now we is able to use the computers once a week or so. W3ell try to write yall every chance we get.
Take care now and please pray of us.
Signed
Ruthie Ann
I knows yall probably been wondering where me and Mabel been lately. Well it’s kinda a long story but imma try to make it simple. The bottom line to the story is DON’T LET THE PERSON WITH GLAUCOMA BE THE LOOK OUT GUY!
I ain’t sure if yall remembers but a while back me and Mabel was curious as 5 alley cats in heat about that blue juice the pastors be drinking. We had a notion that it was that drank they calls Hypnotic. Anyways we masterminded a plot to expose our pastor for being a down low alcoholic. See we figures that us black kettles get called out in church every Sunday for our sinful ways by the pastor, so if he is a BLACK POT on the down low, then he outta be called too.
Well about two months ago me and Mabel dressed up in all black (in our Sundays best of course with the sharpest church hats you den ever seen). Anyways, we left the kitchen door open in the basement of the church earlier that day so we could sneak back in and grab that blue juice to test the water for ourselves so to speak. We had the plan all set up. I was to be the look out guy and Mabel was to be the thief. I personally thought it should be the other way around but Mabel insisted that she grab the juice since she was the one with stinky fingers back in the day. Child that women used to be able to steal the panty drawz off you while you was wearing a girdle on top of em. Now that’s what you call a professional thief.
Anyways long story short the silent alarm went off and we got arrested for armed robbery. I didn’t see the po-po pulling up in time to tell Mabel so that we could get up out the church house. Hell they looked like trees to me. The judge accused us of using Mabel’s cain as a weapon. So me and Mabel is currently do a bit in the county jail. We ain’t been able to talk to yall too much cause we beat the hell out of two bully butches for trying to take our cakes (if you knows what I mean). That fight ended us both up in solitary confinement. We still at the county but now we is able to use the computers once a week or so. W3ell try to write yall every chance we get.
Take care now and please pray of us.
Signed
Ruthie Ann
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